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THE HOME BASED ENTREPRENEUR

DEAD END OR DETOUR - THE CHOICE IS YOURS

(copyright Azriela Jaffe 1996 ~ used with permission)


When life hands you a lemon, are you a sourpuss, or a lemonade-maker? When you sink into one of the potholes of entrepreneurial life, do you change your flat tire, and keep on moving? Or, do you sit by the side of the road cursing your misfortune and waiting to be rescued?

The way you view failure will likely determine your success as a business owner, spouse and parent. The most successful entrepreneurs learned their lessons in the school of hard knocks. Successful business owners don't let botched plans and diverted dreams even slow them down.

The following characters suffer from a chronic inability to rebound from business challenges or life's tragedies. If you recognize yourself slightly in all four, that's normal. If one hits home too strongly, re-examine why "bad luck" seems to be chasing you down.

  1. The Ostrich:
    Denial is this guy's game. He doesn't open his tax bills because he'd rather not know. When his wife nags him that the American Express bill is due, he walks out of the room. He won't rebound from business failure, because he won't face the music.

    Better yet: With your spouse by your side, (if appropriate), face your worst fears together, and create a plan for overcoming the obstacles. You can't fight that which you don't even acknowledge exists.

  2. The Whiner:
    Poor me is this person's game. You avoid asking tehm how they're doing, because you know they'll start to cry and you'll hear the same sob story once again. The perpetual victim, they would rather receive your sympathy than solutions.

    Better yet: After a short period of time, your family and friends will grow weary of listening to your misery, and so will you. Give yourself a moderate amount of feeling- sorry -for- yourself time, but then, with your mate, start creating new dreams that even surpass the old ones.

  3. The Blamer:
    Pointing the finger is this guy's game. Whatever happened - it's not his fault. He expresses volcanic anger towards all who have betrayed and disappointed him. He would rather be right about being screwed, than forgive and move on.

    Better yet: Learning from your mistakes is only possible when you acknowledge your part in the fiasco. No matter how wronged you've been, you played a part in the drama. To change the script going forward, focus your energy on becoming a better judge of character and a more skilled business person.

  4. The Intractable:
    Unyielding rigidity is this guy's game. He has a vision of the one right way and no other alternative is worthy of consideration. This righteous attitude influences the way he responds to his business let-downs, his spouse's imperfections, and his children's flawed behavior.

    Better yet: Forgive yourself for not reaching your goals, and then you'll be able to forgive others. When all is not going as planned, trust that a higher plan - and perhaps a better one -may be in the making. Turn disappointment into curiosity about what's next, instead of devastation.


"Gam zu Letovah" is the Hebrew expression for "This too, is for the best". Often time must pass before you can see the wisdom of these words. "My husband Stephen thought his first divorce was a tragedy" - until he married me. "Roxanne thought her husband's business failure was a disaster" - until desperate finances forced her to work, and she became a successful entrepreneur in her own right. "Kevin and Nancy cursed the earthquake that destroyed their computer services business"- until their customers rallied around them and helped them to rebuild an even stronger enterprise.

Successful entrepreneurial couples master the art of resiliency, forgiveness and unyielding confidence in the face of life's circumstances. When optimism is eluding you, reframe your experience of failure or misfortune, by asking yourself these four questions:

What distinguishes those who thrive, from those who are destroyed by entrepreneurial adversity, is not life circumstances. It comes down to attitude! Will you view obstacles as a dead-end, or as a detour? It's your choice...